


There's no such thing as bad sex

by Draycevixen



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Community: teaandswissroll, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-26
Updated: 2012-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 18:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycevixen/pseuds/Draycevixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the livejournal community Tea and Swiss Roll's 20 minute fic challenge, for the prompt: Expose.</p><p>    Tidied up a bit but still pretty much as originally written in 20 minutes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's no such thing as bad sex

.

“There’s no such thing as... the Loch Ness Monster.”

“You sure?”

“Course.” Bodie wrapped his arm tighter around Doyle’s waist to hold him up as he slumped further against him. 

“There’s no such thing as... bad sex.”

“What?”

“You heard me, cloth ears.”

“I heard, I just don’t... You’re drunk as the proverbial newt. C’mon my son, just a few more steps to go and Uncle Bodie’ll tuck you in to bed.”

“Your turn.”

“No, we’re done, you lose the game. Course there’s such a thing as bad sex.”

“Not with me there isn’t.”

“Chance would be a fine thing.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Come on, almost there.” 

Bodie propped Doyle against his flat’s doorframe, one hand pressed to his chest, partly to hold him up and partly as a form of self-defence. Doyle had been far too handsy all evening, enough that Bodie had been glad to be wearing a long jacket. 

“Where’s your key?”

“Front pocket.”

“Course it bloody is.”

“What?”

“I’m not putting my hand in there. Fish it out, will you?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Doyle had popped his jeans button and was half-unzipped before Bodie realized what he was doing. 

“Stop!”

“Make up your mind.”

Bodie tore his eyes away from where he could see a hint of skin. No underpants. Bloody Doyle. He resisted the urge to smack his own head against the wall, took a deep breath and tried again, blocking out the feeling of how his hand was now resting against the bare skin of Doyle’s chest from where his shirt had gaped open as Ray had shifted against the wall. 

“Keys. I need your flat key. To open the door. To get in your flat. To put you to bed. So I can go home and wank til my hand falls off.”

“Long as it’s just your hand.” Doyle straightened up, grabbed Bodie’s shoulders and flipped him so his back was to the flat door. 

Bodie opened his mouth to protest only to find it full of Doyle’s tongue as Ray’s hand dropped to grasp Bodie’s arse, pulling in, eliminating the space between them. And then Bodie was falling backwards as the door opened behind him. 

Doyle kicked the door closed and threw his keys on to the hall table before dropping to his knees and crawling up and over Bodie, straddling his waist, leaning down to kiss him again. Bodie stopped him with a hand to his chest. 

“Not while you’re drunk. If we’re doing this—”

“We are.”

“Then in the morning you don’t get to say you were drunk and it doesn’t count. If it doesn’t count then I’m not—” 

“I’m not drunk.”

“But—”

“I gave almost all of my drinks to Anson. Now Anson, he’s shit-faced, Murphy’s taking him home.”

“Why?”

“We can talk later—”

Bodie pushed harder. “We’ll talk now.”

“Those painkillers they had you on a month ago? You told me you fancied me, had your hands all over the place. I had to practically fight you for my virtue—”

“Your _what?_ ”

“Shut it, like you’ve got any idea what I’m talking about.” Doyle’s hand moved behind him, dragging over Bodie’s erection, causing him to buck up. “Sober though, not a sausage out of you... and I want your sausage, Bodie.” Bodie groaned and dropped his head back to the floor as Doyle squeezed him again. “This counts, of course this bloody counts.” 

“...If you’re sober enough to make bad puns, then you’re sober enough.” Bodie reached for Ray, pulling him down. 

.


End file.
